4
CHAPTER
4
SCRIPTURAL
DIVORCE
Having examined in
great detail the scriptures on adultery and determined that much of
what is currently
regarded as divorce is not, it is necessary that we now more closely
investigate God's definition of divorce. As
we do this it is vital that we approach this subject NOT with a
legalistic view but with a view to understanding
God's HEART on the matter.
As I write, I am
acutely aware that both my wife and I are divorced by the leading of
the Holy Spirit and
remarried by His guidance. In this section I will endeavour to assist
readers to understand what seem to me to
be some of the critical challenges relating to divorce within the Body
of Christ in this age.
I must also stress
that as you read further in this book you will come to realize that, as
set out so eloquently in
the passage "Wow! So that's how Jesus loves me!, reproduced in Appendix
Q, page 280, God's plan for
marriage is infinitely better than we know it to be and He has provided
supernatural mechanisms to ensure that
Godly marriage WILL WORK AND WILL BE GOOD. We must simply understand
those mechanisms and
learn how to apply them in our lives by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
It is my prayer that by the time you have
read Chapter 6, starting on page 126, which discusses numerous
scriptures relating to marriage issues you will
understand that there is a wealth of scripture which will assist you to
achieve God's plan for your CURRENT
marriage. Application of these scriptures requires that you and your
spouse commit yourselves 100% to doing
things God's way, to recognize that if things are not working it is
because there is a problem on your side NOT
with God. If you will tackle this wholeheartedly by FAITH with a
committment to God to work it out, I have
no doubt that the marriage that will await you on the other side of
this Jordan will truly be a land flowing with
milk and honey! A land of great joy and blessing which will be a true
witness to the people of God AND to the
people of this world!
22.
PUTTING AWAY VERSUS DIVORCE
Malachi
2:1-17 states:
1 "And
now, O priests, this commandment is for you.
2 If you
will not hear, and if you will not take it to heart, to give glory to
My name," says the LORD of
hosts, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings.
Yes, I have cursed them already,
because you do not take it to heart.
3
"Behold, I will rebuke your descendants and spread refuse on your
faces, the refuse of your solemn
feasts; and one will take you away with it.
4 Then
you shall know that I have sent this commandment to you, that My
covenant with Levi may
continue," says the LORD of hosts.
5 "My
covenant was with him, one of life and peace, and I gave them to him
that he might fear Me; so he
feared Me and was reverent before My name.
6 The law
of truth was in his mouth, and injustice was not found on his lips. He
walked with Me in peace
and equity, and turned many away from iniquity.
7 "For
the lips of a priest should keep knowledge, and people should seek the
law from his mouth; for he
is the messenger of the LORD of hosts.
8 But you
have departed from the way; you have caused many to stumble at the law.
You have corrupted
the covenant of Levi," says the LORD of hosts.
9
"Therefore I also have made you contemptible and base before all the
people, because you have not kept
My ways but have shown partiality in the law."
10 Have
we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal
treacherously with one
another by profaning the covenant of the fathers?
11 Judah
has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in
Israel
and in Jerusalem, for Judah has profaned the LORD'S holy institution
which He
loves: he has married the daughter of a foreign god.
12 May
the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, being
awake and aware, yet who
brings an offering to the LORD of hosts!
13 And
this is the second thing you do: you
cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with
weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor
receive it with
goodwill from your hands.
14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness
between
you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously;
yet she is
your companion and your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And
why one?
He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let
none deal
treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it
covers one's
garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to
your spirit,
that you do not deal treacherously."
17 You
have wearied the LORD with your words; yet you say, "In what way have
we wearied Him?" In that
you say, "Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and
He delights in them," or, "Where
is the God of justice?" (NKJ)
This passage of
scripture specifically states that God hates divorce, it also states
that marriage to daughters
of a foreign God, that is unbelievers, is an abomination in God's
sight. It also condemns those who pervert
the Word of God by saying that those who do evil are good in the sight
of the Lord. There is much in this
passage for the modern church to consider in the light of what is
presented in this book.
In
the King James Version, Malachi 2:16 states that God hates "Putting
Away" rather than divorce:
16 For
the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting
away: for one covereth violence
with
his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your
spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
(KJV)
Most other
translations use the word "divorce" instead of "putting away". There is
a difference in scripture. Appendix K, page 268, lists all scriptures
in which the word "divorce" or it's derivatives is used in most
translations but which the King James translates as "put away" or a
derivative thereof. It is important to
understand that there is a clear distinction between putting away
(sending a wife away for a reason that is not
scriptural) and divorce of a wife for scriptural reasons as set out
below.
Matthew
19:9 in the King James Version summarizes our Lord's position on
putting away succinctly:
19 "And
I say unto you, Whosoever shall put
away his wife, except
it be for fornication, and shall
marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit
adultery." (KJV)
Thus we see that
Jesus Himself declares putting away to be wrong in the sight of God and
declares that those
who put away for reasons other than fornication (physical or spiritual)
on the part of the other partner will be
committing adultery.
Mark
10:1-12 in the King James Version states:
1 And he
arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther
side of Jordan: and the
people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again.
2 And the
Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put
away his wife? tempting
him.
3 And he
answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4 And
they said, Moses suffered to write a
bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And
Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he
wrote you this precept.
6 But
from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his
wife;
8 And
they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh.
9 What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in
the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he
saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another,
committeth adultery
against her.
12 And if
a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she
committeth adultery. (KJV)
This passage does
not include the reference to porneia (fornication) contained in Matthew
5:32,
Matthew 19:9, as discussed in section 12.a, page 47, as
grounds for divorce, however, it serves to place the
discussion in it's proper context. Note that in verse 2 the Pharisees
ask Jesus "Is it lawful for a man to put
away his wife". When Jesus asks in verse 3 what
Moses commanded, they reply in verse 4 that "Moses
suffered to write a bill of divorcement,
and to put her away." This is a distortion of the
scriptures, as
Deuteronomy 24:1 clearly states :
1 "When
a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no
favor in his eyes because
he has found some uncleanness in her, and
he writes her a certificate of divorce,
puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, (NKJ)
The key concept
here is "uncleanness" which is defined in
more detail in section 23, page 87 as being
comparable to "fornication" or "porneia" in Matthew. This is distinctly
different to "putting away" which
relates to sending the wife out of the house for little or no reason.
It appears that in Jesus time the Pharisees
had so corrupted the Word of God that uncleanness was being taken in
it's widest and most liberal sense. All
Jesus did in Mark 10, Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 was to set the record
straight about what the Mosaic Law
ACTUALLY stated. In particular, in Mark 10:2, where the question
specifically relates to putting away, the
correct answer is that a man may NOT put away his wife, as reported.
However, if there is fornication, a man
may DIVORCE his wife.
We
see the same distinction in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 in the King James
Version:
10 And
unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let
not the wife depart from her
husband:
11 But
and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her
husband:
and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to
the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that
believeth not, and she be pleased
to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And
the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be
pleased to dwell with her, let her
not leave him.
14 For
the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving
wife is sanctified by the
husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But
if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not
under
bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (KJV)
This passage refers
to wives departing or husbands putting away their wives. Again, in such
cases the woman
is told that she may NOT remarry, she must remain single or else
return to her husband. Clearly
this is again referring to separation which is NOT related to
fornication / porneia or uncleanness as discussed
elsewhere in this chapter. On the other hand if an UNBELIEVING spouse
departs the believing spouse is
free to marry again BUT it is NOT for the believing spouse to depart
UNLESS there is porneia!
Section 12, page
87, contains a detailed discussion of adultery and porneia, the
treachery which will give rise
to a scriptural basis for divorce. Any "divorce" which does not result
from porneia (fornication / treachery)
is not divorce, it is "putting away". The
vast majority of so-called divorces in the world
today are not divorce they are putting away and therefore the vast
majority of those
who consider themselves divorced and who have remarried are living in
adultery and
may well be on their way to a part in the lake of fire and brimstone
for eternity.
It should be
clearly apparent to all readers that a man taking a second or
additional wives is not porneia and
is therefore not grounds for divorce. A woman who leaves her husband
because he has taken another wife
has no scriptural basis to do that and a man who leaves his wife
because he has found another woman also
has no scriptural basis. They are married in the sight of God and
remain married after the husband has taken
other wives.
As a
consequence of the false doctrine of enforced monogamy it appears that
millions, if not billions, of souls may well be on their way to
experience a part in the
lake of fire and brimstone and many well meaning pastors and church
leaders may
find themselves facing a severe judgment for preaching lies and causing
many to
stumble.
Mark
9:42-44 states:
42 "But
whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble,
it would
be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were
thrown into
the sea.
43 "If
your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter
into life maimed, rather than
having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be
quenched--
44 "where
'Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' (NKJ)
23.
SCRIPTURAL DIVORCE
The previous
section defines the difference between putting away and divorce. In
particular it is noted that
a large number of the verses which in most translations refer to
"divorce" in actual fact refer to "putting
away". Accordingly, most of what is referred to as "divorce" in the
church today is, in fact, putting away.
True
scriptural divorce is defined in Deuteronomy 24:1-4:
1 "When
a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no
favor in his eyes because
he has found some uncleanness in her, and
he writes her a certificate of divorce,
puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,
2 "when
she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man's
wife,
3 "if the
latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce,
puts it in her hand, and sends
her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his
wife,
4 "then
her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his
wife after she has been
defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not
bring sin on the land which the
LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. (NKJ)
The
word "uncleanness", Strong's number 6172 `ervah- is defined by
Brown-Driver-Brigg's as:
nakedness,
nudity, shame, pudenda, genitalia
a) pudenda (implying shameful exposure)
b) nakedness of a thing, indecency, improper
behavior
c) exposed, undefended (figurative)
This is the same
word translated "nakedness" throughout Leviticus 18 and 20
quoted in section 14,
page 55 with regard to sexual sin. This would seem to
correlate closely with the word "porneia" used by
Jesus in Matthew 19:9 reported in section 21, 22, page 83. In other
words, in Matthew 19:9 and the other
related scriptures in the "New Testament", Jesus was simply confirming
and elaborating on Deuteronomy
24:1 by saying that divorce is only permitted in the event of
"uncleanness" or "porneia" and that putting away
a wife under other conditions is not divorce it is putting away and
therefore gives rise to adultery.
It seems clear to
me that with this understanding much of the confusion about what
constitutes scriptural
divorce should be cleared up. Divorce is NOT permitted if a man takes
another wife unless he fails to take
care of the first wife as discussed with regard to Exodus 21:10 in
section 30, page 99. It is also not permitted
if either spouse decides they no longer love one another, as discussed
in section 26, 66, page 91, 187 with
regard to Deuteronomy 21:15-17. It is only permitted in the case of
significant and persistent unfaithfulness
or treachery. In practice for the Christian and speaking from
experience, it seems that Yahweh will only
permit a Christian man or woman to divorce after many years of seeking
to heal the marriage and fervent
prayer and intercession for the sinning spouse. We have a "new and
better covenant" (Hebrews 8:6):
6 But
now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also
Mediator of a better
covenant, which was established on
better promises. (NKJ)
Surely more is
expected of us in the area of marriage? We have the Holy Spirit
dwelling within the temple
of God within us, we have tongues and the gifts of the Spirit, we have
the atoning sacrifice of Jesus for our
sin's, we have the name of Jesus to use in our petitions to the Father
and in taking authority over the forces
of darkness. Overall, we surely have much more going for us than the
people of "Old Testament" times and
therefore more is expected of us.
Consider
Luke 12:42-51:
42 And
the Lord said, "Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his
master will make ruler over
his household, to give them their portion of food in due season?
43
"Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he
comes.
44
"Truly, I say to you that he will make him ruler over all that he has.
45 "But
if that servant says in his heart, 'My master is delaying his coming,'
and begins to beat the male
and female servants, and to eat and drink and be drunk,
46 "the
master of that servant will come on a day when he is not looking for
him, and at an hour when he
is not aware, and will cut him in two and appoint him his portion with
the unbelievers.
47 "And
that servant who knew his master's will, and did not prepare himself or
do according to his will,
shall be beaten with many stripes.
48 "But
he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall
be beaten with few. For
everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to
whom
much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.
49 "I
came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!
50 "But I
have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is
accomplished!
51 "Do
you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all,
but rather division. (NKJ)
Surely it is clear "For
everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required;
and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more", furthermore, Jesus
says that He came to "send fire on the earth" and that He did NOT come
to bring peace on earth!! Does this
not tell us that being a Christian will be more demanding than being a
Jew before the time of Jesus. Does it
also not tell us that Christians will be more severely judged? Can we
not therefore infer that more will be
required before Yahweh permits us to divorce?
I must most
sincerely counsel any person considering divorce to reconsider their
position carefully and only
proceed with secular divorce if they are ABSOLUTELY certain that it is
Yahweh's will for their lives. Likewise, it seems to me that people who
are divorced in the sight of the state may not always be divorced
in the sight of God. For example, a speeding ticket issued to a person
who was not speeding can be squashed
in court. In the same way, a certificate of divorce for which there is
no scriptural basis may be squashed in
the court of heaven! In such a case it could be conceivable that Yahweh
would require the spouses to return
to one another and confess and repent of their adultery!
Taking Deuteronomy
24:1 further, a Christian man who has God's permission to divorce may
issue a
"certificate of divorce" immediately although legally he would still
need to go through the legal divorce
process in order to remove all yoke's between himself and his former
wife. It would appear that a woman
seeking a divorce is likely to require to go through the full legal
divorce process in order to obtain a certificate
of divorce. How she would act if her husband refuses to give her a
certificate of divorce but God tells her to
divorce is uncertain - it would appear that she would have to walk by
faith in this situation.
24.
THE WIFE OF ONE'S YOUTH CONTRASTED WITH THE IMMORAL WOMAN
Proverbs
5:1-23 states:
1 My
son, pay attention to my wisdom; lend your ear to my understanding,
2 That
you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge.
3 For
the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than
oil;
4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell.
6 Lest
you ponder her path of life-- her ways are unstable; you do not know
them.
7
Therefore hear me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of
my mouth.
8 Remove
your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house,
9 Lest
you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one;
10 Lest
aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a
foreigner;
11 And
you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed,
12 And
say: "How I have hated instruction, and my heart despised correction!
13 I have
not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to those who
instructed me!
14 I was
on the verge of total ruin, in the midst of the assembly and
congregation."
15
Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well.
16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the
streets?
17 Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your
youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at
all times; and
always be enraptured with her love.
20 For
why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be
embraced in the arms of a
seductress?
21 For
the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and He ponders all his
paths.
22 His
own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of
his sin.
23 He
shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he
shall go astray. (NKJ)
We see here a stark
contrast between the impact of adultery or fornication OR unGodly
socalled "remarriage"
and marriage to the wife of one's youth about whom it is said "As
a loving deer and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with
her love."
Clearly the
statements here with regard to the wife of one's youth assume that she
is NOT an immoral woman
otherwise Jesus is quite clear, the husband is entitled to divorce her
and, in the light of the statements in this
proverb, such a husband should have no difficulty in deciding that the
marriage should come to an end. This
same reverse principle of understanding the definition of an immoral
woman, one who can (and should) be
divorced can be applied to other scriptures.
Consider
also Proverbs 7:1-27:
1 My
son, keep my words, and treasure my commands within you.
2 Keep my
commands and live, and my law as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind
them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to
wisdom, "You are my sister," and call understanding your nearest kin,
5 That
they may keep you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who
flatters
with her words.
6 For at
the window of my house I looked through my lattice,
7 And saw
among the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of
understanding,
8 Passing
along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house
9 In the
twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night.
10
And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty
heart.
11 She was loud and rebellious, her feet would not stay at home.
12 At times she was outside, at times in the open square, Lurking at
every corner.
13 So she caught him and kissed him; with an impudent face she said to
him:
14 "I
have peace offerings with me; today I have paid my vows.
15 So I
came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found
you.
16 I have
spread my bed with tapestry, Colored coverings of Egyptian linen.
17 I have
perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come,
let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves
with love.
19 For my
husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey;
20 He has
taken a bag of money with him, and will come home on the appointed day."
21
With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering
lips she
seduced him.
22
Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a
fool to the correction of the stocks,
23 Till
an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not
know it would cost his life.
24 Now
therefore, listen to me, my children; pay attention to the words of my
mouth:
25 Do not
let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths;
26 For
she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were
strong men.
27 Her
house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death. (NKJ)
Clearly such a
woman is anything but a virtuous wife, as discussed in section 42, page
126 and is reasonably
not the sort of woman that a man should or would want to remain married
to.
By extension it
would appear that a person of either gender married to a spouse who is
an active, practising
witch, wizard or Satanist would almost certainly be permitted by the
Lord to divorce. Although, even in such
cases I would council that the spouse concerned should seek the Lord's
guidance. There are testimonies of
believing spouses who have faithfully served their unbelieving spouses
for decades with the love of God and
have finally been rewarded by seeing their loved ones come to
salvation, sometimes when one or other spouse
is on their death bed. What treasure it must be to see the soul of a
loved one in heaven for eternity in return
for having laid down one's life in prayer and service. There can be no
general rule, only God knows the heart
of man and only He can determine the point at which a woman who is
joined to a man can be separated.
25.
CASES WHERE PUTTING AWAY IS PROHIBITED
In various sections
of this book certain scriptures have been cited where a man may never
"put away" his
wife:
Deuteronomy
22:16-19 in the King James Version states:
16 And
the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto
this man to wife, and he
hateth her;
17 And,
lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not
thy daughter a maid; and
yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall
spread the cloth before the elders of the
city.
18 And
the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And
they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them
unto the father of the damsel,
because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and
she shall be his wife; he
may not
put her away all his days. (KJV)
A man who falsely
accuses his wife of not being a virgin may never put her away.
Consider
also Deuteronomy 22:28-29 in the King James version:
28 If a
man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay
hold on her, and lie with her,
and they be found;
29 Then
the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty
shekels of silver, and she shall
be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not
put her away all his days. (KJV)
A man who takes the
virginity of a woman may never put her away.
Clearly, in neither
case does this prevent a man from DIVORCING a woman for fornication /
porneia.
26.
THE UNLOVED WIFE
One of the most
difficult scriptures for the modern church to accept in the context of
what is taught in these
pages must surely be the provisions for an unloved wife:
Deuteronomy
21:15-17 states:
15 "If
a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and they have borne him
children, both the loved and the unloved, and if the firstborn son is
of her who is unloved,
16 "then
it shall be, on the day he bequeaths his possessions to his sons, that
he must not bestow firstborn
status on the son of the loved wife in preference to the son of the
unloved, the true firstborn.
17 "But
he shall acknowledge the son of the unloved wife as the firstborn by
giving him a double portion
of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; the right
of the firstborn is his. (NKJ)
Here we have
another passage with explicit provision for a man to have two wives at
least.
In addition, we
have explicit provision for one of those wives to be unloved!!! Surely this must squash
the idea of one perfect partner, the idealistic searching for wife
after wife and husband after husband,
scrapping each previous relationship in the process. Surely we are
clearly taught by the scriptures recorded
in these pages that once a man has married a woman they are married for
life barring some very specific
situations which permit divorce? However
those situations are such that the implication is
that one partner is almost certainly irrevocably committed to spend
eternity in Hell
and is dragging the other partner down with them! In most other cases
divorce is not
an option and those that remarry after such a form of "divorce", in
actual fact
"putting away", are committing adultery. Surely the response of the
disciples to
Jesus in Matthew 19:10-11, rings true:
10 His
disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it
is better not to marry."
11 But He
said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it
has been given: (NKJ)
Perhaps
it is better not to marry? It is certainly better not to marry lightly
or hastily
or for the wrong reasons.
It is certainly necessary before marriage that we search our hearts in
order to be
clear that we are indeed making a life-time commitment.
It is certainly
critical that we pray diligently to the Father in the name of the Son
in order to ensure that the
person we intend to marry is, indeed, the person that Yahweh would have
us marry and that the time for
marriage is as we have understood it.
It is certainly
vital that we "lean not to our own understanding", Proverbs
3:5:
5 Trust
in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own
understanding; (NKJ)
that we "look not
to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen", 2
Corinthians 4:18:
18
while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things
which are not seen. For the
things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen
are eternal. (NKJ)
etc.
A
hasty and ill-conceived marriage that is not of God but is borne out of
lust or other
wrong motive, may well be the most eternally dangerous thing that
anyone can do!
Section 81, page
207 reports a case history of a man who personally fell into the trap
of a relationship, born
out of wrong thinking and wrong teaching, which lasted for twenty five
years before the Almighty Creator,
in His mercy and His grace delivered him. He states that such a
relationship is a hell that he would not desire
for his worst enemy. It is a hell borne out of false
doctrine and wrong ideas resulting
from the perverted teachings that Satan has infiltrated into the
Christian church
over nearly two thousand years. It is a hell which I pray those who
read this book
will start to take active steps in prayer and spiritual warfare to
overturn.
27.
PRACTICAL IMPLICATIONS OF DIVORCE
Insofar as divorce
in the sight of God is only permissible following serious treachery or
spiritual
unfaithfulness on the part of the offending spouse, those whom the Lord
permits to divorce may well require
considerable ministery with regard to spiritual, emotional and
psychological healing.
Perhaps more
importantly, the case history in section 81, page 207 clearly
highlights the need for certain
specific actions on a spiritual level. These are discussed from a
scriptural view point in section 43, page 127
and subsequent sections.
Briefly the
following minimum actions are required following divorce:
a. A formal
certificate of divorce must be issued by the husband, not necessarily a
court order but a letter
will suffice. However, for legal reasons a court divorce should be
obtained if the couple are married by
the church or state. If they became one flesh through sexual
intercourse then a letter will suffice.
If the woman is the
one seeking divorce this presents certain problems for which the
guidance of the Holy
Spirit should be sought. In some cases it may be acceptable for the
wife to send a letter confirming a
discussion, however I can envisage situations in which there may be
problems. Since we have not ministered
in all possible situations it is not possible to give more detailed
guidance at this time although we have
ministered in situations where the Lord has extended grace and treated
relationships as terminated without
any formal contact with the other party.
b. The one flesh
bond must be broken by prayer in agreement requesting the Lord to sever
the tie by His
Grace. This is not a demonic bond and cannot be cut and it cannot be
renounced. It can only be severed
IF the Lord has permitted the divorce. The Lord should be asked to
sever the bond at both ends and to
cover the resulting spiritual wound with the Blood of Jesus and to heal
the wound.
c. All marriage
vows and promises must be renounced and cut off unless there are
promises or vows which
God requires to be fulfilled.
d. The soul tie
should be cut off at both ends.
e. All blood line
curses and demons which passed down or transferred through the male
blood line to the
female must be cut off.
f. All curses
spoken against the believing partner by the offending partner and
associates must be regularly
cut off. Note that curses are not necessarily Satanic or occultic. Any
swear words or curses or bad
statements made against you have spiritual force and will continue to
operate against you until they are
cut off.
g. All demons
transferred between the parties must be bound and cast out but first
all sin which may give
the demons the right to remain must be confessed and repented of. This
is a complex subject and you
are advised to consult with a prophetic minister gifted in deliverance.
Note that in this day deliverance
is a very specialised prophetic ministry and there are not many who
have truly in depth knowledge and
experience in this field.
h. Any familiar
spirits associated with the relationship must be bound and cast out.
i. In the event of
true divorce as a consequence of porneia it appears that God's agape
love between the
couple may be dead by the time God permits a divorce. In the case of
adultery the individual concerned
may find themselves in the same situation as the person in the case
history in section 81, page 207, that
is with the Agape love of God fixed in their heart towards the person
with whom they committed
adultery. In this case, according to my current understanding of
scripture, there is no basis to cut off this
bond of love. The only way to deal with this bond of love in this life
is to direct that love to Holy Spirit
inspired prayer for the good of the object of that love AND their
rightful spouse. In other words pray
for blessings on their marriage, healing to their marriage, etc. Prayer
that somehow that person
may be released to marry you is VERY UNLIKELY to be the will of God,
not
matter how much you love them!
28.
MARRIAGE TO A DIVORCED WOMAN
a.
CHALLENGES IN DETERMINING GOD'S WILL FOR MARRIAGE
Marriage to a
divorced woman or, for that matter, any woman who is not a virgin is
spiritually challenging. I pray that by now you will realise that there
are numerous good reasons why as a man you would not want
to consumate a relationship with a woman who is not a virgin. The case
history in section 81, page 207, should be more than sufficient to
convince you of this. Equally, if you are such a woman I would hope
that
you would appreciate that there is no way that you want to join
yourself to another man unless you are 100%
certain that the Lord has permitted it.
My advice has to
be, unless you are totally satisfied that it is God's perfect will AND
His perfect time, do
not even think about consumating a relationship with any person. In
fact this applies just as much if the
woman concerned is a virgin but there are much much greater spiritual
implications of getting it wrong if
she is not.
As you consider
this subject you will realize that it is an area that is ripe for
religious, "Talmudic laws"
designed to assist you make this decision. At the end of the day there
are numerous principles contained in
this document which will assist you to ascertain when it is probably
NOT safe to consumate a relationship. But, since they all rely on the
facts at your disposal and the completeness of the memory and the
integrity
of the woman involved, there is no absolute guideline other than ASK
THE LORD TO SHOW YOU. Consider the cases of Jacob married to Leah,
presented to him fraudulently and the case of the woman
seduced under hypnosis who only discovered over twenty years later that
she was married in the sight of God
to a man she did not even remember, discussed in section 18, page 80!
Only The Holy Spirit knows the truth
and only He can be trusted to guide you.
b.
FLEECES AND SEEKING TO BE LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT
This is an area
where I truly believe the Lord expects you to ask Him for signs and
expects you to lay out
fleeces for him. By way of example, consider the sign that Eliezer
requested in Genesis 24:12-14:
12 Then
he said, "O LORD God of my master Abraham, please give me success this
day, and show
kindness to my master Abraham.
13
"Behold, I stand here by the well of water, and the daughters of the
men of the city are coming out
to draw water.
14 "Now
let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your
pitcher that I may drink,'
and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink'-- let
her be the one You have appointed
for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown
kindness to my master." (NKJ)
Consider also the
sign's requested by Gideon in Judges 6:36-40:
36 So
Gideon said to God, "If You will save Israel by my hand as You have
said--
37 "look,
I shall put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor; if there is dew on
the fleece only, and it is
dry on all the ground, then I shall know that You will save Israel by
my hand, as You have said."
38 And it
was so. When he rose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece
together, he wrung the
dew out of the fleece, a bowlful of water.
39 Then
Gideon said to God, "Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just
once more: Let me test,
I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the
fleece, but on all the ground let there
be dew."
40 And
God did so that night. It was dry on the fleece only, but there was dew
on all the ground. (NKJ)
When I married my
present wife I asked the Lord repeatedly for sign's. The most dramatic
and most positive
which I received a week before I married her was as follows:
i. I knew that she
was going to attend a church meeting at a venue which housed 5,000
people and
where typically at least 3,000 people could be expected to attend. She
did not know that I would be
there.
ii. I knew that I
had attended that venue for some years and sometimes struggled to
locate people, even
if I knew they were at the meeting. Sometimes I would go for months and
not see someone, then
when I met them and asked them where they had been they would tell me
they had been at every
meeting.
iii. I asked the
Lord that if it was His will for me to marry her He would arrange for
me to meet her in a way
that I would know it was from Him and if it was not His will for me to
marry her that he would ensure
that I did not meet her.
iv. When I arrived
I was led to sit in my car for about ten minutes. Eventually I entered
the service nearly
ten minutes after it started and, as I was walking amongst a sea of
people along a broad aisle, a person
came towards me and forced me to step aside. As I did so a voice
exclaimed my name in my ear. I
looked down and then to the side and I was about ten centimeters from
standing on the toe of my bride
to be!
v. Subsequently she
told me that she had only been in that seat for about a minute!
As a consequence of
this we both had a high level of confidence that it was the Lord's will
for us to marry. Nevertheless we both prayed repeatedly for further
signs in the days that followed and, before we
consumated the marriage we knelt at the side of the bed and asked the
Lord to show us if it was his will for
us to marry or not. At that point the anointing of the Holy Spirit and
the Power of God fell upon both of us
and we consumated the marriage in His presence and under His anointing.
In considering what
tests to lay before the Lord one should be wary of presumption or
foolishness. Pray
reverently and ask the Lord for guidance. Confess your own inability to
discern His will in the matter and
ask Him to show you what tests to apply. Generally a fleece needs to be
something which in the natural is
so unlikely to occur that it could only come about by God, this is a
characteristic of all the tests given above. A young woman in Isaac's
day would not normally give water to a stranger, let alone water his
camels also. Dew does not normally fall only on a fleece or fall on
everything other than a fleece. A person does not
normally nearly walk into someone they are hoping to meet in a 5,000
seat auditorium without looking
carefully.
Generally it is
wise to ask for more than one indication, particularly in the case of
marriage where the
consequences of an error are potentially disastrous in this life AND
the next.
It is vital not to
pray out loud when you speak to the Lord about these things and it is
also vital that you do
not communicate or write down what you have asked Him.
Genesis 24:42-45 reports Eliezer as saying:
42 "And
this day I came to the well and said, 'O LORD God of my master Abraham,
if You will now
prosper the way in which I go,
43
'behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass that
when the virgin comes out to
draw water, and I say to her, "Please give me a little water from your
pitcher to drink,"
44 'and
she says to me, "Drink, and I will draw for your camels also,"-- let
her be the woman whom the
LORD has appointed for my master's son.'
45 "But
before I had finished speaking in my heart, there was Rebekah, coming
out with
her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down to the well and drew
water. And I said to her, 'Please
let me drink.' (NKJ)
Clearly Eliezer
spoke to the Lord in his heart, so should you. Recognize that the
air is polluted with
Satan's demons and fallen angels and that they will take notice of all
that you say, all that you do and all that
you write. I have personally experienced situations where I have
foolishly stated something in an
unsanctified atmosphere and seen a situation turn against me within
hours. If you speak out your request
to God for proof or you write it out, Satan is quite likely to provide
you with a counterfeit sign to get you
to sin. If you walk by faith and pray without doubting, God will answer
you.
James 1:6-8 states:
6 But let
him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like
a wave of the sea driven
and tossed by the wind.
7 For let
not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a
double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (NKJ)
c.
SOME SCRIPTURES ON BEING LED BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD
Following are a few
relevant scriptures:
1
Thessalonians 3:11:
11 Now
may our God and Father Himself, and our Lord Jesus Christ, direct our way to you. (NKJ)
2
Thessalonians 3:5:
5 Now
may the Lord direct your hearts into the love
of God and into the patience of Christ. (NKJ)
John
16:13:
13
"However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He
will not
speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He
will tell you things to come.
(NKJ)
Psalm
48:14:
14 For
this is God, our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even to death. (NKJ)
Isaiah
49:10:
10 They
shall neither hunger nor thirst, neither heat nor sun shall strike
them; for He who has mercy
on them will lead them, even by the springs
of water He will guide them. (NKJ)
Isaiah
58:11:
11 The
LORD will guide you continually, and
satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones;
you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose
waters do not fail. (NKJ)
Romans
8:14-15:
14 For
as many as are led by the Spirit of God,
these are sons of God.
15 For
you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you
received the Spirit of adoption
by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father." (NKJ)
You can only be led
by the Spirit of God to the extent that you are willing to humble
yourself and admit that
you do not know what His will is and to admit that you are utterly
dependent on Him to help you avoid
making a terrible mistake. Do not demand that He lead you. Ask in faith
without doubting and be alert for
supernatural events in your every day life which will surprise and
encourage you.
Whatever
you do DO NOT LEAN TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING (Proverbs
3:5) and DO NOT look at the things that are seen (2 Corinthians 4:18).
Ask Him to
open the eyes of your spirit to see what He is doing in the world
around you by His
Spirit!
29.
CRITICAL CONCLUSION : GOD'S LAWS FOR DIVORCE NECESSITATE THAT A MAN
IS PERMITTED TO TAKE MORE THAN ONE WIFE
From the preceeding
discussion I pray that you will see that God's plan for marriage is
very different to that
which is taught by the church today. At the same time, I pray that you
will see that what is being taught by
the church today regarding marriage is destructive and great heresy.
There can be little doubt that we are in
the last days of this age and that a new age is about to dawn.
Jeremiah
23:1-6 clearly states regarding the dawning of the new age:
1 "Woe
to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!" says
the LORD.
2
Therefore thus says the LORD God of Israel against the shepherds who
feed My people: "You have
scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them. Behold,
I will attend to you for the evil of
your doings," says the LORD.
3 "But I
will gather the remnant of My flock out of all countries where I have
driven them, and bring them
back to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase.
4 "I will
set up shepherds over them who will feed them; and they shall fear no
more, nor be dismayed,
nor shall they be lacking," says the LORD.
5 "Behold,
the days are coming," says the LORD, "That I will raise to David a
Branch of righteousness; a King shall reign and prosper, and execute
judgment and
righteousness in the earth.
6 In His days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell safely; now
this is His name
by which He will be called: THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS. (NKJ)
These are the same
days that Isaiah 4:1 refers to (refer section 55, page 157). Truly
these are days in which
the truth of the Lord's perfect plan for marriage will be restored. As
outlined in the article "Wow! So that's
how Jesus loves me!, reproduced in Appendix Q, page 280, God's
plan for the marriage of the church to His
Son, The Lord Jesus Christ requires that we understand the fullness of
His plan for marriage in our lives on
earth. As we do this we will truly see heaven on earth as we learn to
live in harmony and unity in Godly
marriages where divorce is unheard of!
Remember
Luke 18:27:
27 But
He said, "The things which are
impossible with men are possible with God." (NKJ)
Surely,
Jeremiah 29:11, as over quoted and misapplied as it is, has relevance
to that which is soon to
come:
11 For
I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of
peace
and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (NKJ)
If your marriage
seems impossible take heart, He is able to turn it around. If you are
in marriage to an
unrepentant sinner, take heart, the Lord may see fit to deliver you
soon. But, whatever your current marital
situation, expect to see change. If you are a man, expect The Lord to
call on you to extend your covering to
a number of women. If you are a married woman, expect The Lord to
require you to "share" your husband
(remember he never belonged to you in the first place). If you are an
unmarried woman, expect The Lord to
provide a husband, only expect that he is likely to already have a wife.
If you will change
your paradigm and humble yourself before Almighty God, expect to see
GOOD THINGS. However, if you stubbornly insist in retaining your false
doctrines and heresies, be ware the wrath of God is
about to be unleashed on this earth as never before!
1
Peter 2:1-8 states:
1
Therefore, laying aside all malice, all guile, hypocrisy, envy, and all
evil speaking,
2 as
newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow
thereby,
3 if
indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.
4 Coming
to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God
and
precious,
5 you
also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy
priesthood, to offer up spiritual
sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
6
Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture, "Behold,
I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone,
elect, precious, and he who believes on Him will by no means be put to
shame."
7
Therefore, to you who believe, He is
precious; but to those who are disobedient, "The
stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone,"
8 and "A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense." They stumble, being
disobedient to the word, to which they also were appointed. (NKJ)